i like fluffy!! (socuteandfluffy) wrote in do_i_want_kids,
i like fluffy!!
socuteandfluffy
do_i_want_kids

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first post... don't think i'm crazy...

Hi everyone. *waves* This would be the first community post. I scoured LJ all afternoon searching for a community where I could vent on this matter, and when I couldn't find one, I took matters into my own hands.

Welcome to do_i_want_kids, the community.

I need a community such as this one for this reason:

I don't know what comes over me sometimes. The simplest little thing trips my emotions and suddenly I'm in overload crying into my onion dip. For heavens sake, it can NOT be normal to be this worried about ever having children. Maybe everyone worries some or frets a bit or is unsure at times but I AM THE ONLY ONE DRIVING MYSELF INSANE.

Somedays I seem okay with the idea. Yes it does sound a little scary but I think, sure I'd like to have kids. And other days I think that having a child is the very LAST thing I ever want.

Let me backtrack. I'm 25 years old and engaged to my soul mate, who already has three children. (whom we rarely see due to their mother... don't get me started on that one.) He wants kids, I can tell. He thinks baby shoes are cute and points them out at the store. Which only adds to my stress. We've talked this through and through but his answer is always this, "You'll know when it's time."

Bullshit.

That's not good. My main fear (besides the pregnancy and actual childbirth itself, of course) is the fact that if I make the wrong decision, I can't very well change my mind later on. So what if I have a kid and I just don't want him anymore? ;_; What if it comes between us..? I am incredibly selfish and don't appreciate sharing my fiance's attention with anyone.

I feel so sick.
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my thoughts exactly. and im 13 weeks. heh. it comes and goes, but its fear that gets to me.
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one... I can't imagine if I actually were pregnant now. I'm an emotional basketcase enough just worrying about it!
! yeah, youre definetely not alone!
Hey... this was posted awhile ago, but maybe you'll still get an email or something. I'm definitely curious as to how things turned out with you. My boyfriend just broke up with me because he wants kids and I've always maintained that I don't. This isn't the right frame of mind to figure out if I want kids. But I am agonizing over it. I feel like maybe I'll want kids in the future. I don't understand how all these people seem so SURE about having kids!! I just don't know. Anyway, your post voices everything I'm feeling right now, and I am certainly driving myself insane over it. And I have definitely thought that if I ever got pregnant I would just be terrified with the whole process and the birth itself. Glad I'm not alone in that.
Did I write this post when I was sleeping? ....Because I can't tell you how similar this sounds to the way I am feeling.

I've been married 3 1/2 years and my husband is ready. Will I ever be ready? This is the question that bugs me every day. It also doesn't help that my mother and grandmother can't shut up about it, or quit dropping hints. It's sickening.

I think about the financial aspects of children. But that is not what really bothers me. What bothers me is the fact that I will BE big and pregnant, have to go through childbirth, lose the me-n-you relationship with my husband, and the list goes on and on.

Then sometimes I try to be optimistic and think about how some pregnant women are totally adorable when they get big. I try to think that maybe the birth won't be THAT bad. I think about how much my husband wants a child, and how I don't want to make him wait too much longer. None of this seems to help.

Sigh.